Please leave your dog in here while you spend the day on the beach.
I tried to think of a clever subtitle for my blog now that I’m pregnant. Here are the two options I’ve come up with so far:
“Places I’ve Thrown Up”
(8X metro bus to Pentagon, Tyson’s Corner Hilton, American University, etc.) The problem with this is that, ideally, I’ll stop throwing up in the next few weeks. Also, who wants to read a blog about where I’ve vomited?
"Watching LOST While Pregnant: Times I Cried"
This one seemed like a good idea yesterday morning, when I was sobbing like a baby within the first five minutes of the pilot (my third time re-watching the show). However, I’ve since learned that when you watch 4-5 episodes in one day because you’re stuck on the couch, you become somewhat desensitized to the majesty of the show. And apparently running away to the bathroom to puke can make you miss out on crucial plot points/poignant moments.
We make fun of Episcopalians for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them.
If you were to ask an audience in Des Moines, a relatively Episcopalianless place, to…
Decidedly not unfortunate!
These little due-date slips keep falling out of the books I’m using for research. I can’t decide which is sadder: the failure of the ancient adhesive, or the fact that it will always appear as if this book has only been checked out once. I like the history that used to come along with a well-worn library book. Marginalia is annoying, but these slips used to provide a gentle, methodical connection to past readers.
A motivational penguin, for everyone who is just in reach of a holiday break.
Disclaimer: I don’t follow politics. But now I want to dress up as hobo Big Bird carrying a bindle full of women. I can’t get that image out of my head.
MY NEW HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEA
Glue/tape/sew a binder to my side.
I’m a binder of women.
-Hobo Big Bird
-A powersuit + a toy bus glued to my shoulder = Hilary Clinton throwing herself under the bus
-(Sexy) Workout Paul Ryan